liferal

A new word by Paul 'Feisty' Hassing
Founder & Senior Writer @ www.thefeistyempire.com


Definition

liferal (pronounced 'life-for-all') noun: Organised event to celebrate love, friendship and the joy of living. Opposite of funeral.

Explanation

We drop everything to attend the funeral of someone we love. Whatever our commitments, we work around them, because there's only ever one official opportunity to mourn with others who knew the beloved.

Getting time off work, postponing holidays, rescheduling meetings and so on can be difficult and inconvenient, but we do it. We go to great pains to 'celebrate' death; why not do the same to celebrate life?

A liferal is the antithesis of a funeral. It's a gathering to celebrate friendships before they are dissolved by death. Since death is unpredictable yet inevitable, a liferal is logical.

Far better to spend time, money and effort celebrating with a live friend than to waste it on wreaths and bereavement notices when they pass away...

One Hand

We used to have a pile of friends; we’d count ‘em on ten limbs.
But Time’s thalidomide’s cut in – the ranks have rather thinned.

20 years have passed us by (we saw them just last week).
Two sheep from ten hairy goats; a chaff from 15 wheat.

So what I really wanna know, if you’ve got time of day:
do I still join your happy few and will you go my way?

Are we two pals who stay the course, or will you turn me loose
to float off with your jetsam as your star fleet hits the juice?

It’s me versus a hundred as I await your call.
We used to love each other, but love don’t conquer all.

Theoretically, the internet is the most free and democratic realm the world has ever seen.

How ironic, therefore, that in this realm exists the most powerful dictatorship and virtual monopoly I have ever seen.

I did the wrong thing by Google, no question (see confession below).

But I received no warning and made no profit. I admitted my error, made amends, apologised and was keen to use their other products and be a fan.

It all came to naught.

Assuming that Google retains its dominant position, my online pursuits will be severely curtailed for the rest of my LIFE.

This seems a little disproportionate.

It's a funny new world!

Best regards,

Paul 'Significant Risk' Feisty Hassing.
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Hello,

Thank you for providing us with additional information. However, after thoroughly reviewing your account data and taking your feedback into consideration, we have re-confirmed that your account poses a significant risk to our advertisers. For this reason, we are unable to reinstate your account. Thank you for your understanding.

Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team
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From: paul@thefeistyempire.com
Subject: Appeal Form Submitted
Date: Sun, 04 Nov 2007 17:46:45 -0800

DateDisabled: 22 May 2007

NumPeople: Not sure. It's done by www.orble.com

Language: en

Frequency: Daily, until I was disabled. Now every 60 days.

InvalidActivity2: When I signed up for AdSense in a rush, I very foolishly didn't read your rules. I was so excited about my new site that I told my friends and family all about it. They thought they were supporting me by clicking the ads. I didn't receive any warnings from you, so I thought everything was OK. I even put a small footnote in some of my posts that encouraged readers to click as I still handn't read the rules. I didn't make any money, as my account was disabled before it hit US$60. I have since learned my lesson and now humbly request that I be given second chance. I plan to buy some Google AdWords for this and another site and I'd like to start again, on the right foot this time. I have spent hours assessing and revising (if necessary) every single entry on www.surrealshortstories.com to ensure it doesn't contravene any of your rules (which I have now read closely). I'm very sorry for my error and hope you can forgive me.
Best regards, Paul Hassing.

TrafficSource: I don't.
ContentSource: I write it all myself.
URL: www.surrealshortstories.com
WebAudience: People who like reading short stories.

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