my brain is getting smaller
as the world cuts it to size
we’re dumbing down the hard bits
since we found that i’m unwise

the small pond of the big fish
now the marianas trench
i’m drowning in life’s ocean and
it’s something of a wrench

the man who once set vcrs
can barely lick a stamp
i thought i had a searchlight
it was a miner’s lamp

Always intuitive, Jacinta had learned to speak her truth, though this time she tempered it in the name of friendship. 'Heaps of people don't believe in this stuff, Tommy. You're not the only one. All I can say is that Claudia healed the people who recommended her and she's sure as hell healing me.'

Tom blushed. 'I'm sorry, Jace… I.'

'Bullsh*t,' barked the fairy, her purple lashes forming stars. 'Don't be sorry. Just give her a go. From what I've seen and heard you don't seem to have too many options left. You've done the waiting, the psychiatrist, the antidepressants, the ciggies, the grog; what's next? The big swan dive? You don't want that. And Sarah sure doesn't want that. If you're so f*cked up, why wouldn't you go and see Claudia? What've you got to lose?'

'But what could she do?' asked Tom defensively. 'I mean, what does she do? I've never even had a massage before. I'd freak out.'

'See the card? She does the works. But she won't do anything until she's spoken to you. She'll chat with you and in ten minutes flat she'll know what you need. Then you'll get it; trust me.'

Tom opened his mouth again, then caught a look from Sarah. Neither accusatory nor suppliant, it was the look of one who was out of ideas and low on patience.

For 18 months she’d nursed and supported him. Did she really have to ask him to take this inconsequential punt?

Tom sighed, tossed his cigarette on the struggling fire and lit another. He was being pretty precious for someone supposedly close to death. And whatever his myriad faults, he was determined that unreasonableness would not be remembered as one of them.

The last stranger to lay hands on him had been a khaki-scarfed paedophile. Yet he owed it to Sarah, if not himself, to clutch at whatever straw Fate tossed him. He drained his champagne and stood up.

'Fair enough, Jacinta the Fairy. Thank you for your truth. Mine is that I am at my wits' end and I'll visit your Claudia despite not believing in her powers. As you pointed out, I've tried every other f*cking thing in the book, without success.'

Jacinta beamed at Sarah, who looked relieved for a moment, then seemed to collapse with fatigue. Her champagne was untouched.

The faded airline bag took off and circled. 'Well I'm off, you guys. We're putting on a silent rave in the gardens tomorrow. You should come down.'

'What’s that?' asked Tom, kneeling solicitously beside Sarah.

'Oh it's grouse. You wear your Walkman and tune in to a frequency used by the DJ. Everyone dances in the park and when the suits have their lunch, they can't work out what's going on, cause they can't hear anything.'

'And then they probably go back to their offices and watch from the windows,' suggested Tom.

'Yeah! Yeahhh! Probably!' enthused Jacinta. 'You got it! That bloody Rescue Remedy isn't so bad, is it Thomas?'

Tom checked himself. It was true, his panic had subsided and he could function. 'But what about dinner Jacinta? It'll be ready soon.'

'Oh, I'm not hungry. And you little munchkins look like you need some time alone. Am I right, Sarah?'

Sarah nodded weakly. 'Forgive me for not getting up.'

Jacinta leaned over and kissed her. 'Hang in there, sister,' she whispered, 'everything'll be OK, you'll see.'

'Thanks, Jace.'

Tom walked Jacinta to the door and hugged her tightly.

'If you're right about this, you'll have saved my life.'

Jacinta grinned. 'Just go, man. Go talk to her. You'll be right. Call me and let me know how you get on, alright?'

'OK.'

'Bye!'

'Bye!'

END

Tom’s wretched excuse for a façade crumbled and he slid muttering back to the beanbags.

‘Tommy’s not been very well lately, Jace,’ explained Sarah tiredly. 'And we’ve just had …words.’

Jacinta’s frown deepened as she regarded them closely. ‘I can tell! Jeeez, I sensed something was wrong right away. What’s been going on? Tell me.’

Sarah looked at Tom, who lit another cigarette and tossed the packet to her. She lit her own, poured three shaky champagnes and embarked on a frank and brutal summary of their situation.

By the time she finished, all were in tears: one from compassion, one from self-hatred and one from sheer despair.

The room fell silent, save for the hissing wood. Jacinta fished through her ancient plastic airline bag, produced a small bottle and withdrew the dropper.

‘Come here, Tommy. Open your mouth and lift up your tongue.’

Tom meekly did as he was told.

Jacinta bit her lip stud in concentration and a stream of drops sparkled in the candlelight. ‘This is Rescue Remedy. Amazing stuff. It’s for crisis situations. Do you want some too, Sarah?’

‘No thanks,’ replied Sarah, grabbing another tissue, ‘I’ll stick to my bubbles.’

Tom swallowed and blinked.

‘How’s that?’ asked Jacinta brightly.

The taste was bittersweet and unusual. ‘Not bad. Good.’

‘D'you feel better?’

Tom thought slowly. He felt like utter crap; Rescue Remedy had to be about the last thing that could help him. ‘To tell the truth,’ he lied, ‘I’m too f*cked up to know.’

‘Give it a while,’ advised Jacinta. ‘It’ll do you good, you’ll see. Rescue Remedy’s great. It’s worked for me heaps of times.’

‘OK.’

‘I’ve got something else for you too.’

The slim brown hands dived back into the bag, emerging this time with a crumpled business card. Jacinta flattened it on the coffee table and pointed to the name in sweeping script.

‘This is Claudia.’

‘Claudia?’

‘Claudia Guersenzvaig.’ She tapped the card and handed it to Tom. ‘She works out of Acland Street. I’ve been seeing her. She’s helping me work through some unresolved issues. She's amazing.’

Tom studied the card. ‘Really?’

‘Oh yeah. One of the most powerful people I’ve ever met. She’s into everything: massage, acupressure, counselling, astrology, the works. She’s from Argentina, or somewhere.'

From the ceiling, Tom watched himself pull a face at the new age jargon. You stupid f*ck. You're going down for the count and you still have the arrogance and the energy to sh*t on things you know nothing about.

'Really?' was all he could say.

To be continued...

I'd just like to say thanks and well done to the kind folk at Orble who look after us so beautifully. 2000 blogs is quite an achievement. So YAY! youse blokes and sheilas!

Click pic, make big!