PaulDeath & The Afterlife – Frequently Asked Questions (Part 3)
April 7th 2007 23:36
Q. 3 How does one avoid boredom when one is immortal?
Entry to heaven necessitates deification. But immortality is no fun if there's nothing to do. Heaven's Edutainment System is the last word in sophistication and flexibility. Because information and novelty excite humans, few are immune to its attraction.
The System makes virtual reality look like Snakes and Ladders. It employs the universe as a setting and time as just one of an infinite number of parameters. It is the mother of all role-playing games. Yet this description is flawed, for what occurs in the System is real. In short, it allows an immortal to assume any form, in any time, in any place, for any period of time, with any degree of self-awareness and extraneous power.
The awesome power of the System is best illustrated by example: An immortal is chatting with friends over coffee. An argument ensues over the navigational prowess of the Laysan Albatross. Rather than check the facts manually, the woman decides she'd rather experience life as a seabird first hand.
She elects to return to Earth in the 16th Century as a day-old chick on Cape Verde Island. She sets self-awareness to cut in immediately prior to her first flight, but grants herself no extraneous powers. The weeks pass. The woman is the albatross. Only when she flings herself from the nest does she realise she is a returned spirit. Now she can really enjoy learning to fly. She wheels and dives, revelling in her power. She discovers how to make incredible journeys, drinking sea water, sleeping on the waves, and chasing the ships of Magellan.
After 30 years, she is drowned in a storm. At once she is back at her coffee. She relates her marvellous adventure to her friends and wins the argument hands down. One man is so impressed, he decides to play the role she has just vacated, with a different choice of parameters. He is gone from heaven for an instant. Later, the albatross couple adjourn and compare experiences long into the night, replaying and reliving their favourite parts on the System.
From a tsetse fly on a rhinoceros, to a child at Joan of Arc's execution, to a crater on the third moon of Jupiter. Nothing is impossible. There is enough to do and learn to fill eternity.
Which is handy.
Heaven has everything for everyone.
To be continued...
Entry to heaven necessitates deification. But immortality is no fun if there's nothing to do. Heaven's Edutainment System is the last word in sophistication and flexibility. Because information and novelty excite humans, few are immune to its attraction.
The System makes virtual reality look like Snakes and Ladders. It employs the universe as a setting and time as just one of an infinite number of parameters. It is the mother of all role-playing games. Yet this description is flawed, for what occurs in the System is real. In short, it allows an immortal to assume any form, in any time, in any place, for any period of time, with any degree of self-awareness and extraneous power.
The awesome power of the System is best illustrated by example: An immortal is chatting with friends over coffee. An argument ensues over the navigational prowess of the Laysan Albatross. Rather than check the facts manually, the woman decides she'd rather experience life as a seabird first hand.
She elects to return to Earth in the 16th Century as a day-old chick on Cape Verde Island. She sets self-awareness to cut in immediately prior to her first flight, but grants herself no extraneous powers. The weeks pass. The woman is the albatross. Only when she flings herself from the nest does she realise she is a returned spirit. Now she can really enjoy learning to fly. She wheels and dives, revelling in her power. She discovers how to make incredible journeys, drinking sea water, sleeping on the waves, and chasing the ships of Magellan.
After 30 years, she is drowned in a storm. At once she is back at her coffee. She relates her marvellous adventure to her friends and wins the argument hands down. One man is so impressed, he decides to play the role she has just vacated, with a different choice of parameters. He is gone from heaven for an instant. Later, the albatross couple adjourn and compare experiences long into the night, replaying and reliving their favourite parts on the System.
From a tsetse fly on a rhinoceros, to a child at Joan of Arc's execution, to a crater on the third moon of Jupiter. Nothing is impossible. There is enough to do and learn to fill eternity.
Which is handy.
Heaven has everything for everyone.
To be continued...
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