I guess it's in our blood. For me, it always starts as a tingle in my right thigh - deep down where I can never scratch. I can be driving the same route I've been on for months and then suddenly, I know I simply have to nail that Finance Director who's exiting the Melbourne Club. Uncle Roy gets a nervous tic in his left eye; brother Norman wets his pants and cousin Enid… well, let's just say she really looks forward to getting her 'message'.

Whatever the medium, we all know when it's time. And thanks to the amazing safety features of today's vehicles, we invariably live to tell the tale. You know when the newsreaders say: 'the driver escaped serious injury' or 'the driver walked away unhurt'? Well, that's us.

When it's showtime, surprise is everything. As pedestrians, we've all had close shaves with traffic. Driving blokes play this to the max. The best outfits run vehicles so quiet you can get onto your targets before they know what's hit them. The Kenworth T800 Liquefied Natural Gas rig is quieter than any diesel on the road and produces 60% less nitrous oxide to boot. Raley's Supermarkets of Sacramento runs a fleet of these, providing an excellent training platform for younger blokes.

But even your standard Mack can benefit from accessorising. Take the Goodyear Eagle LS. With curved pitch boundaries, triple tread block geometry and wide circumferential channels, it's the king of stealth.

As you can probably tell, I love technology. Every now and then I get the urge to be an owner-driver. More than anything, I'd like to run road trains out of Alice Springs. No witnesses, plenty of power and oodles of room to maneouvre. But with my record, I'd never get the permits.

To be continued...