PaulThe Spruiker (Part 1)
May 1st 2007 17:55
Ray polished his shoes, put on his best suit and took his resume to the interview. He needn't have bothered; the Bargain Bin was not a professionally managed operation.
The balding director waved at a couch with a Winfield Blue and hairy, ring-ridden fingers. His mobile battled love handles for a purchase on his belt, while his staff pecked sullenly at computer terminals to hits of the 60s, 70s and 80s.
'Siddown. I'm expecting 20 of youse.'
Ray waited patiently. Two more applicants arrived, both nervous and twitchy. Latching onto Ray they began simultaneous, high-speed monologues. After a while, they found two things in common: broken homes and car accident injuries. To Ray's intense relief they bonded, crossed the foyer and studiously continued their prattle.
Eventually it became clear that the other 17 candidates had better things to do. The director waded towards the three whose chances of employment had improved out of sight. There was no interview or audition, the theme of the director's address being, 'Youse'll all get a go to see how ya get on'.
Ray watched with surprise as his new colleagues, having missed the message completely, began a mellifluous ingratiation contest.
'Perhaps I could dress in costume – a gorilla or the Easter Bunny – something of that order – so as to entice more patrons into your shop? I was once the Lolly Gobble Bliss Bomb Boy, you know. And the Town Crier at the Cheltenham shopping centre.'
'Have you heard about the special at Tandy? For $19.95 you can buy a microphone which transmits to a radio frequency. All you need do is bring your own stereo and tune it to the microphone. Perhaps your other employees could make use of this technology. You could save a great deal of money.'
The director heard them out; Ray couldn't imagine why. When they had exhausted their store of offerings, there began the allocation of territories. Ray was given Coburg. It wasn't close, but he was prepared to travel for $20 an hour. He thanked the director and took his leave as the others argued the relative merits of Maribyrnong and Moonee Ponds.
To be continued...
The balding director waved at a couch with a Winfield Blue and hairy, ring-ridden fingers. His mobile battled love handles for a purchase on his belt, while his staff pecked sullenly at computer terminals to hits of the 60s, 70s and 80s.
'Siddown. I'm expecting 20 of youse.'
Ray waited patiently. Two more applicants arrived, both nervous and twitchy. Latching onto Ray they began simultaneous, high-speed monologues. After a while, they found two things in common: broken homes and car accident injuries. To Ray's intense relief they bonded, crossed the foyer and studiously continued their prattle.
Eventually it became clear that the other 17 candidates had better things to do. The director waded towards the three whose chances of employment had improved out of sight. There was no interview or audition, the theme of the director's address being, 'Youse'll all get a go to see how ya get on'.
Ray watched with surprise as his new colleagues, having missed the message completely, began a mellifluous ingratiation contest.
'Perhaps I could dress in costume – a gorilla or the Easter Bunny – something of that order – so as to entice more patrons into your shop? I was once the Lolly Gobble Bliss Bomb Boy, you know. And the Town Crier at the Cheltenham shopping centre.'
'Have you heard about the special at Tandy? For $19.95 you can buy a microphone which transmits to a radio frequency. All you need do is bring your own stereo and tune it to the microphone. Perhaps your other employees could make use of this technology. You could save a great deal of money.'
The director heard them out; Ray couldn't imagine why. When they had exhausted their store of offerings, there began the allocation of territories. Ray was given Coburg. It wasn't close, but he was prepared to travel for $20 an hour. He thanked the director and took his leave as the others argued the relative merits of Maribyrnong and Moonee Ponds.
To be continued...
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