After the third hour, Ray began to come out of shock. Rival shops had hastily pressganged their employees to counter his pull on customers. The bored voices of back-room staff droned through bodgy tannoys.

Ray felt safer for their presence and flattered by their attempts to emulate him. Filled with the desire to blow them off the planet, he picked up a lime green, sausage-shaped draught stopper and swung it around his head, narrowly missing an exiting customer. A tram halted and a group of tourists pointed and laughed.

'Ladies and gentlemen, this is without doubt the most exciting product in the Bargain Bin's range of consumer goods. A product whose use is limited only by your imagination, and one which can save your marriage overnight.'

Afternoon shoppers looked at the whirling sausage and snorted with surprise.

'Tomorrow is Friday. I want you to get a slab of beer and/or a couple of bottles of red. I want you to buy one of these items and lay it on your kitchen table. I want you to turn off all the lights in your home and fill it with the twenty-cent candles I spoke about earlier. Then, when your partner gets home, I want you to change his or her life by...'

A grey akubra caught Ray's eye. He lowered the draught stopper and fumbled to a close. A silver badge reading "Bruno, Moreland Council" moved toward him.

'How's it going?' enquired Bruno.

'Oh, pretty good. Yeah. Not bad.'

'We've had a few complaints; four in the last hour, actually. Could I see your permit please?'
Ray's blood chilled. 'Permit?'

Bruno unfolded a many-times photocopied paragraph. Ray read the by-law he had unwittingly violated. He pointed behind him. 'I'm employed by the store. They've probably got a permit inside.'

'They don't; we warned them three times last week about this.'

'Well, surely it's a matter between you and them, then.'

'No. You're the one breaking the law. This is between you and the Council.'

'What's the penalty?'

'First offence, $100.'

'Jesus. Five hours' work.'

After an impassioned plea, Bruno let Ray off with a warning. Ray alerted the store manager.

'Oh, they're always threatening us. Don't pay any attention; they're just full of hot air.'

'I have to pay attention, Soula. I can't afford a hundred buck fine! Can't you get a permit?'

'I'll talk to the boss. What d'you want to do? Are you gonna go home?'

'It's almost knock off time. Maybe I will go home. Can you get the boss to let me know what the story is?'

'Sure.'

'How'd we do today?'

'You did good. You were fine.'

'See you, then.'

'Yeah, see ya.

**********

Ray is still waiting for his cheque. The director of the Bargain Bin has advised that he is 'looking into' the permit situation.

End