One night, Mars eclipsed the moon, and all the good townspeople knew
That with the dawning of the sun, Slasher would turn twenty-one
And though it caused and awful rift, they chose among themselves a gift.

A boy with hair as black as night, complexion fair and body tight
Was stripped and scrubbed with sacred soap, and tightly bound with golden rope.
Then, creeping with the stealth of mice, the people left their sacrifice.

On her birthday, Slasher stirred, and took the boy without a word.
As she prepared herself to feed, she caught his eye, and felt a need
That hitherto she had not known, the seeds of love had just been sown.

'Young boy, will you marry me? We'll live in filth, beside the sea.
I'll catch people, you'll catch fish, and I'll fulfill your every wish.
And look! To show you how I'm fond, I've loosened all your golden bonds'.

When he was free the boy stood tall and grabbed her knife from off the wall.
He plunged it in her beating heart, and then the blood began to start.
It flowed 'til half past six that night, when, at the climax of their fight:

Chorus 2 (fortissimo)

Slasher, Slasher, Slasher, Slasher, Slasher, Slasher, Slasher, Slasher,
He cut off her head and shoved it down her neck.

Optional Final Verse (For the party faithful)

The young boy'd had an awful fright; so bad, it turned his hair to white
And for the rest of his long life, he never looked for girl or wife.
Phil Smith's fear was burned in deep. That's why he loved Cecil the sheep.

Chorus (ad infinitum)

The End.

There; that wasn't too hard, was it? Next up, back to bona fide stories with 'Sole Trader Christmas Party'.